How does the body get to a place erotically where it produces an endorphin high? What is your experience?
Now this question to me is a bit open-ended and if you read this answer and it doesn’t quite answer your question please feel free to resubmit a question and I will try answer it.
Now you might have heard a word called subspace? This magical land where you drift off and almost a place that is described that every “good” submissive will reach if they just let go. Well sorry to burst the bubble with this magical little land. Pop… There it goes. Now lets get into the reality of things. Lets dig into the science for a bit. I am forewarning you now I’m gonna be babbling a lot in this article. So go fetch a cup of tea, coffee, beer or just sit down and relax and read.
First off there is two kinds of “subspace” (most likely even more but lets stick with the two major ones). One can be reached through putting the body in an overload of endorphin high and literally shocking the body into reaching subspace.
The second does not really have to involve any form of pain at all to reach more of a mental subspace where you are put (only way I can subscribe it) into a light meditation state. You do not really have to experience an endorphin high in this state at all.
Even though the question is more towards the first one I mentioned… Lets touched base with the second subspace.
No not everyone can reach this easily. It does not always depend on how long you have been with someone or that you can reach this place every single time. It has a lot to do with how the two people interact with each other. Lets think of your typical image of a hypnosis session. You need to be able to calm down, slowly let your mind relax and breath. You can practice this by practicing meditation. The more you are able to let your whole body relax and just let go the easier you can experience this sort of subspace in your kinky play. So do we need sharp pain? Nope you are more likely needing some sensation play. Light touches and caressing. Does not need to stay light. This really depends on the reactions of your submissive and how they are able to get go and drift.
For me I started to experience this kind of subspace during rope play. Taking deep breaths as MOC prepares the rope, gliding it over my body. With each knot letting my mind go of more “stuff” and just let another part of my body completely relax. I either tend to start from my toes or my head. Now this has taken me years as my mind is always going. Ten million miles a minute. I use to do martial arts and meditate everyday to clear my mind but got out of the habit. So meditate at least three times a week to help you reach this easier. (once again some might reach this place very easily while others don’t. It also feels extremely awkward trying it for first time but just give it some time.)
Now for our first one. The one with an endorphin high. Ever heard of runners high? You know when a long distance runner is running so far and at point of giving up that they have that last next push and they continue. They keep on experiencing it even though they just wanna give up. They push through that boundary and continue. At that finish line some might crash very quickly while others have a high for quite a while. Ever wonder if it had to do with their stamina whether they crash so quickly? Or to do with how hard they push their body? It all lies in the the science.
So what is endorphins: It is a natural bunch of morphine-like chemical the body pumps into the brain to reduce the body’s sensitivity to pain and therefor raising the pain threshold. Now your body will release these endorphins in loads and wont continuously pump them out either. So once a load has been delivered it will take a while before your body will be ready to release another load. This is a protective measurement of your body. It roughly on average takes about ten minutes before another load is pumped into the body. (this is a key thing to remember).
So when a “scene” starts your body has no endorphins to start off. That is why that first initial spanking hurts. Its not erotic. It freaking hurts (to me at least). Therefor you DO NOT have to go hard out right in the beginning. After relatively mild stimulation and a few hard wacks your body will release its first load of endorphins. Now you as a submissive might not feel a huge difference, except that the spanking (I am going to use spanking as an example here) is starting to feel a bit nicer. You can all of a sudden take it.
Now remember your body has released its load in one go and it will take about ten minutes before its ready to release another load. Getting close to the ten minute mark you sort of have to shock the body to be ready to release that load. It needs a reason to pump the next load in. So you can go slightly harder with a few ones. Doesn’t always take a lot (but this does depend on the submissive so continue to talk) Once again this is gonna hurt a bit. Breath and best thing I can say is do not clench at all. Relax and breath through it. Meditation as above does help. Next load gets released and the Dom can take it easy.
Important thing to remember is that your body wont release another endorphin high before it has enough of the chemicals to release. So really not a lot of point going hard out the whole time. All that is gonna happen is a lot of pain. Not much pleasure and your Dom hand is gonna hurt a lot more and wont be able to put the “work” in when it is needed.
Continue on and by Load three the submissive will feel a little bit woozy. They can take a lot more but they are still relatively with you. You can take it easier with more gentle smacks and for the sadist throw in a few hard ones in here that there (You need to have fun too right?) Now towards the end you might need a few harder ones in a row for the body to get ready to release the next load. Does not always have to be longer than a minute of more intense play.
By Load four: As a submissive you definitely will be starting to get incoherent. Dom’s at this stage your submissive might not be able to safeword anymore and you gonna have to take it slow. Never played to this level before I suggest you start going out slow and start bringing them down. There is always a next time.
Now for some submissives at Load four a very huge load of adrenaline might be pumped in body too. This might make them extra sensitive towards certain pain stimuli. They will not be able to take a lot more but not always able to safeword.
By Level Five is where some say the ultimate lies. Push through four to get to five and well you there. IT IS NOT SOMETHING TO EVER ATTEND ON YOUR FIRST SECOND OR THIRD PLAY. The top/Dom has a ton on responsibility and needs to be able to read your body so well to be able to know when to push through and not. As you might be in a state not able to safeword. Trust me even at load three the fun is really really good. Me personally have only reached load 5 a few times and the subdrop from it is not always fun.
So now I mentioned adrenalin right? How does that come into play. That is also an extremely important. While your body has been pumping Endorphins in your body it has also pumped in Adrenaline into your body. The more adrenaline that has been pumped in the longer it takes to burn off. The submissive/bottom will experience “crashes” as the body burns the adrenaline off and therefor aftercare is extremely important. They will have to be held and hugged and kept safe. They might not need any extra stimuli as they wont be able to handle that. They will need some water, a little bit of sugar can help so hand over that chocolate. They might become teary and full on sobbing crying. And this is not just right after play but even days after might experience “feeling the blues” So please keep on checking in. And the answer: “I am fine.” is normally a biggest clue they ARE NOT FINE.
Now some don’t believe in the endorphin high release at all as those chemicals don’t reach the brain and as we said the submissive gets all woozy so now I can only speak from my own experience.
Cheeky: yes I have experienced both. The second one without pain involved is almost harder but more in my own control. It is a conscious decision to let go of everything and just give over the experience. It is easier if you meditate regularly.
The first one we talked about: Yes a few times and it tends to be very long sessions which starts out as: ” Really just fuck Ouch, Why da heck do I really like this? Its just freaking sore… “and me swearing like a sailor normally. But just go slow and read the submissives body and continue to talk. Last time I experienced this one was not even a long session and it was the smaller flogger used on my upper back while being fucked. (but I was in a meditate subspace already so wondered if that helped.)
Is there only five loads? No you can go further but it becomes more riskier.
Disclaimer: I have read and researched on this subject a lot due me trying to understand why I like certain pain and what “made” me like this. There is also quite a few websites and articles on this subject and explain it more or less like this as well while some refute the idea completely and go with another. The above is my opinion after research and should not replace your own responsibility for reading up more and trying to understand what works for you. But the above is sort of what happens to me and makes the best sense to me.