1950’s

1950’s style and BDSM

When people hear 1950’s you get an immediate picture in your head of a husband coming home and the door open to a lovely wife, dressed in a nice floral dress. Hair and makeup perfect with a beer or a whiskey on hand to immediately serve her husband while he sits on the couch reading the newspaper or watching the news or just watching tv.

Kids are very quiet and clean and playing with a few toys in the corner of the lounge or they are playing outside. It's a very calm serene looking scene. Families eat meals together and talking about their day.

So how do you view the 1950’s when you think about it and how do you feel about it. Any part of it that you find interesting? Do you like the look or perhaps more the feel of the 1950’s?

So besides the mental image what else was involved in the 1950’s style?

Yes, the woman was very well dressed in mostly dresses or skirts. Very feminine looking and hair and makeup were done up every day. A woman took great care with their looks. You wouldn’t come home and find your wife in tracksuit pants. (looking down... yip I am wearing some right now.)

Houses were immaculately clean and roles of husbands and wives were a lot more gender-based. Meaning outside work was done by the Husband while the wife took care of the house and the children.

Men tend to take great pride in providing for the needs of their family and after a hard day of work coming back to the lady of the house and being able to rest.

Woman tend to work really hard in the house and if you delve deeper might even be making most of the decisions inside the home. From the decor, what to serve or any of those nitty-gritty things that at that time period seem to not be of interest to the menfolk. (why do I feel like I need to look behind my shoulder for some kind of Feminist to wack me over the head right now... Oooh the interesting world we live in right now but that is a story for another day)

The woman used some of the “free” time to volunteer or to be part of the churches work. So it was not just staying at home and if you can look past the very gender-based roles you can see that both parties are serving each other but in very different ways. A whole community was based on the same sort of agreement of roles of the two parties involved. Everyone sort of knew where they stand and what their particular role and responsibilities were.

Now back to today’s world. I had a really big look at this particular style before but in particular this week for this article and it was very interesting to see how people view this particular time period. Some absolutely love the feminine look of the era and seem to be going back to it or even just making a small few tweaks and punking it up. Some can't stand the gender-based roles and feel conflicting as they love the look of the 1950’s. And then there is some that really enjoy all of it that it can offer. From the cars to the decor, to the very specific responsibilities of either party, taking some time and effort with your looks for your partner. Or in particular with our very heavy electronic busy lives these days... the family connection around a dinner table and being able to put devices aside and really just connect and communicate.

But the alarming thing I also found is, that in the kink world and the very big growing amount of people involving 1950’s in their various dynamics, few people are willing to openly talk about it. As if somehow it makes you a woman hater or taking womenfolk back decades of years. In that way perhaps the same can be said for all the other dynamics where the woman is at the feet of a man.

But us kinky folk know better right? We are meant to be more open-minded. As for me personally. I believe in free choice and taking some responsibility for your own happiness. If parties that are involved are open-minded, educated on the topic and freely make a choice and consenting adults, who are anyone to come and say that it is wrong or somehow you causing the destruction of the woman for the last decades of years.

Now to get to the kinky bits of it. I mean after all we a kink website right?

So as mentioned you have two definite areas of the 1950’s style.

First is the look of the 1950’s

You don’t really need to be involved in any kink to enjoy the looks of the 1950’s. From the style to the dresses. Or even just involving a few aspects in any other BDSM dynamic you have. Taking some time with your appearance for your partner before a scene, on weekends if you both have more time or just in general. Having the experience and feeling of dressing up to please your partner and in return pleasing yourself. Feeling good about yourself and your partner getting the benefit of this.

The second one is the more feel of the 1950’s.

There is this book that was published in that time era called: “the Good housewife”. It is available online if you have a look. It gave the ladies a manual on how to behave and tips and advice. If you read it and just replace with words referring to the woman or lady to sub/slave or bottom you have a set guide for a type of D/s. Yes even for male submissives this will work perfectly.

So even though there was a very definite gender role division of labour there is nothing stopping anyone from using the feel and look of the 1950’s in any dynamic that you have. Yes even if you have a Domme with a male submissive.

As for having the “wife” staying at home looking after the house and preparing your meals and servicing to the needs of the “husband”. In today's society, it's not always possible to have one income families or partnerships. That should however not stop you from engaging in this is this is the way that feels both natural to you both. Just take a bit to think outside of the box.

Maybe if you come home having fifteen minutes to get out of your workwear into your 1950’s style clothing and slipping into these roles.

Might not be possible to cook a homecooked meal but you can still serve whatever meal you have in the style or perhaps have a family breakfast served in a 1950’s style over a weekend.

Or perhaps after the kids are in bed doing a service of bringing a drink to your partner and this involved in you getting pulled over their lap to get a spanking and then asking if you were a good girl/boy that day andjust releasing the stresses of the day.

As always have fun and SSC, RACK or PRICK.

Forniphillia / Human furniture

What is Forniphilia / Human furniture?

Human furniture or Forniphilia is a form of bondage and or sexual objectification in which a persons body is incorporated into items on furniture. Items like trays, foot stools, chairs, tables, lamps or other items of furniture. The term forniphilia was coined by Jeff Gord.

The person used for human furniture may be nude  or semi-nude to add to the erotic and aesthetic appeal. Forniphilia can be an extreme form of bondage, The submissve is usually tightly bound and expected to stay immobile for a prolonged period. Often gags  and sex toys are incorporated. Proper safety measures and checking in with the submissive’s well being is vital, because of the dangers that can arise, forniphilia should only be undertaken by a experienced bondage practitioner.

Fotniphilia doesn’t always mean using bondage. Having your submissive on all fours as a foot stool  or as a seat, standing and holding drinks.

 

As always S.S.C, P.R.I.C.K, R.A.C.K.

Red Flags

What does red flags mean?

Red flags are warning signs that a potential partner may not be a safe person for you to play with. What is a red flag for one person, may not be a red flag for someone else; to a certain degree what constitutes a red flag can be somewhat personal.

Here is a list of some common red flags.

  1. Demanding straight off that you call him or her by certain titles.
  2. Saying you can’t have a safeword.
  3. Having you stop contact with family and/or friends.
  4. Collaring after a week or less . (This is classed as a velcro collar, A sub wanting a collar more than a bond or a Dom/me wanting to collar someone too quick normally means they are collector).
  5. They don’t care about your mental or emotional wellbeing.
  6. Anyone who says they have no limit or wants someone none.
  7. No aftercare by the dominant after a scene. (This can leave the sub feeling emotional, vulnerable and feel like they have failed).
  8. When a Dom/me says the word NO is not acceptable in any context.
  9. When a sub “tops from the bottom” without discussing it with the Dom/me first.
  10. Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets made if you try contacting them at other times.
  11. Criticises the local BDSM community, refuses to participate especially if they never were part of it.
  12. Consistently breaks promise.
  13. Always finds excuses for not meeting.
  14. Does not respect your limits, negotiations or contracts.
  15. Pushes you into a D/s relationship too fast.
  16. Falls in love you way too fast and swears undying love before even meeting you.
  17. Hides behind their D/s authority and says that their authority should not be questioned.
  18. Tries to make you feel guilty for not being good enough.
  19. Says they are a “true Dom/me, sub” or says that they are a “true Dom/me, sub”.
  20. Loses control of their emotions in arguments and resorts to yelling, name-calling and blaming you.
  21. Will not discuss what your possible future relationship could be like.
  22. Tries to keep you in the dark about what might happen next in the relationship.
  23. Does not respect your feelings, rights or opinions.
  24. Blames you for your hurt feelings.
  25. Is constantly asking for money from you.
  26. Threatens suicide or other forms of self-harm to get you to do what they want.

Trust your instincts, if you feel uncomfortable, pressured, overwhelmed in a negative way or just have a nagging gut feeling that something in not quite right. Then step back, take some times to consider what is causing you to feel this way, consider if this relationship is right for you. (Applies to D-types and s-types).
It’s okay to walk away. Don’t think you have failed or that this is not for you, sometimes things just don’t work out. Sometimes it may take you a little longer to spot a fake. Look after yourself you are important, your thoughts and feelings matter!

 

As always S.S.C, R.A.C.K, P.R.I.C.K.

Safety and meeting new people

Where is a good place to meet for the first time?

Meeting in public is a good idea for safety.  Most people usually meet  for the first time at a cafe/coffee shop. Other people choose to meet at a Bar.

What is a safety call?

A safety call is when you tell a friend where and when you are meeting someone, what time and when to text/call you to see if you are okay or if you need a reason to leave the meet.
Some people tend to have catch phrases/codes that they use so its not obvious to the person you are meeting that your safety call is giving you a reason to leave.

When should you use a safety call?

Anytime you meet someone new, anytime you play with someone the first few times. Some times  people use safety calls for every “play date” .

What other precautions can you use for safety.

Many people tend to do a bit of research on  their potential play partners by asking other people if they know them, if they have a bad rep or not. once you have met the new person sometimes people ask to talk to previous partners or other current partners.

If able give your safety call any/all details of the person you are meeting.

If you feel pressured into going home with them thats a good time to check in with your safety call.

You always have the right to walk away when you want to with out having to give a reason.

As always S.S.C, R.A.C.K, P.R.I.C.K.

What is BDSM

Bondage. is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation.

Rope, cuffs, bondage tape, self-adhering bandage, or other any  other physical restraints may be used for this purpose.

Bondage itself does not necessarily imply sadomasochism. Bondage may be used as an end into itself, as in the case of rope bondage and breast bondage.

It may also be used as a part of sex or in conjunction with other BDSMactivities. The letter “B” in the acronym “BDSM” comes from the word “bondage”. Sexuality and erotica are an important aspect in bondage, but are often not the end in itself. Aesthetics also plays an important role in bondage.

A common reason for the active partner to tie up their partner is so both may gain pleasure from the restrained partner’s submission, and the feeling of the temporary transfer of control and power.

For sadomasochistic people bondage is often used as a means to an end, where the restrained partner is more accessible to other sadomasochistic behaviour. However, bondage can also be used for its own sake. The restrained partner can derive sensual pleasure from the feeling of helplessness and immobility, and the active partner can derive visual pleasure and satisfaction from seeing their partner tied up.

Another type of bondage is mental bondage. This is where the Dominant instructs the submissive/bottom to be in a certain position and not be allowed to move.

 

Discipline in BDSM refers to the practice where the dominant sets rules for the submissive that he/she is expected to obey. When rules of expected behaviour are broken, punishment is often used as a means of disciplining.

Dominance and submission (also called D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM.

Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. In other cases, it can be intensely physical, sometimes crossing into sadomasochism.

In D/s, both parties take pleasure or erotic enjoyment from either dominating or being dominated. Those who take the superior position are called dominants—Doms (male) or Dommes (female)—while those who take the subordinate position are called submissives—or subs (male or female).

A switch is an individual who plays either role. Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session.

A dominatrix is usually a female sex worker who dominates others for pay.

It is common for writers to capitalise the “D” in Dominant but leave the “s” in lowercase for the submissive. Many extend this to His/Hers, Him/Her, He/She, etc., to make it clear when they are referring to a Dominant.

Sadomasochism is the giving or receiving pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation.

Practitioners of sadomasochism may seek sexual gratification from their acts.

While the terms sadist and masochist refer respectively to one who enjoys giving or receiving pain. Practitioners of sadomasochism may switch between activity and passivity.

The abbreviation S&M is often used for sadomasochism, although practitioners themselves normally remove the ampersand and use the acronym S-M or SM or S/M when written throughout the literature.

Sadomasochism is not considered a clinical paraphilia unless such practices lead to clinically significant distress or impairment for a diagnosis.

Similarly, sexual sadism within the context of mutual consent, generally known under the heading BDSM, is distinguished from non-consensual acts of sexual violence or aggression