Negotiation is a big part of playing safely.

How do you negotiate?

Well, a great start is by asking questions. Pretty much everyone knows how to ask questions.

What sort of questions should you ask?

A good one to start off with is what turns you on/off?

What are you interested in trying?

What are your hard/soft limits?

Are you Dominant/Submissive/Switch?

Who will be the Top/Dom/me and the bottom/sub?

Is there participation of any other observers? How will partners address each other?

What are you looking for in a play partner?

What are the safety measures ? are there any safety tools to prevent situations when something goes wrong. E.g with doing bondage do you have safety shears?

Will there be any Sexual contact? What type of sexual activity is accepted if any?

What are the safe words?
Is there a safe way to end a scene if the person is gagged and is unable to vocally say the safe word?

Do/will you have spotters to help if something goes wrong?

What type of play would you like to include in the scene? e.g Bondage, impact, sensation, sensory deprivation.

Do you want each other to be dressed a certain way?

Duration of the scene?
Do you have a safety call? Someone who knows where you are and will call to make sure you are okay at a certain time.

Are there any health concerns? Talking over existent health problems: allergies, chronic diseases, STD’s, taking any medications.

Do you know what each other needs for aftercare?

Do you know what aftercare means?

Another tool which helps negotiations is by using a checklist. See the example below

As Always,  S.S.C, R.A.C.K and P.R.I.C.K.

Posted in BDSM 101.

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