Tonights livestream starts at 10pm

Hello fellow Kinky people. just a reminder that tonights kinky livecast starts at 10pm. Please log into the livechat so that you can ask questions as they arise so I can answer them. Link to the livechat is here https://chat.kink101.info/channel/Episode-1-livecast

The link to the livecast audio will be announced in that chat when it is live. So head on over. Tonight we are talking about what you can do if you are interested in this lifestyle how do you approach your partner? Are they even kinky etc. I will be walking everyone through my introduction to the lifestyle which may or may not help some people.

Look forward to seeing you online tonight.

KC000 Pilot Brats

This is our pilot of a livecast Q&A session. It was a test to see that everything technically was working. It did after we got around a few technical glitches.  Just the audio alone may not make sense however if you visit the live chat site https://chat.kink101.info/channel/testbroadcast room you will see the archived chat which goes along with this livecast.

Also covered was the question “There seem to be many rules for submissives, but what about Dom’s, how are they held to account?”

If you would like to join the next live broadcast to ask some questions keep an eye out on https://www.kink101.info. It will be on the 2nd Feb.

Feel free to join the chat or submit a question to be answered over at https://www.kink101.info/qa/ if you can’t join the next live stream.

Excuse the disjointedness of this one, it gets better towards the end. Now we are looking forward to the first real episode now that the bugs are sorted.

First Live stream done and dusted

The chat from the live stream is over here. You will need to sign into the chat program to view. 

chat.kink101.info

Once logged in search for the testbroadcast room. All the goodness is inside there.

The audio will be edited over the weekend and published hopefully later this weekend so it will make sense seeing the chat and listening to the audio.

Next live broadcast will be on Friday 2nd Feb at 10pm.

Till next time.

New our own livecast

We are all about learning. Everyone has something to learn from someone. Even us. The moment we stop learning is the moment we may as well stop living. What is the best way to learn? Well I have found it is to share experiences, so I am going to be trying a small experiment. Once a month on the first Friday at roughly 9pm-9:30pm at night I am going to start doing a live broadcast which you can listen to. The key difference is that this is a live broadcast you can ask live questions just as you would if you were attending a presentation  or a lecture via a text chat on the web or via mobile app.

This broadcast along with the text chat which occurred will then be uploaded to this site as a podcast and lesson material for future reference. Ala mini podcast for those that could not listen to the live broadcast.

As things go along hopefully we might be able to get some guests on to discuss various topics, but we will play it all by ear.

That being said I have everything setup in the background but it all needs to be tested so this Friday at about 9pm ish I will be kicking it off in a pre launch to hopefully shake out the bugs etc.

In the mean time if you are keen visit https://chat.kink101.info/ and create yourself an account on the chat app. Unfortunately I am still looking for a way to link the accounts to this sites so you will need a second account. Get familiar with the chat features and on Friday I will publish the link for the live audio stream. You can also download the Rocket.chat+ app from the Android or Play store and enter chat.kink101.info and login and you can use it from your mobile or tablet as well.

Keep in mind there is about a 3-5 second delay from when I speak to when you will hear the audio so when you ask your questions in the chat it may not be an instant reply.

O yes feel free to use the chat app to invite your friends to chat. It is a kink friendly chat so no risk of your rooms being terminated at random.

 

Aftercare

What exactly is aftercare?

In simple terms, it is the time you take after a scene or playtime where both or more parties take the time to recover and take care of each other's physical and emotional needs.

Now if you are just starting out you might wonder, why exactly would you need aftercare? With BDSM or kinky play we at times tend to really get physical but besides the physical aspect, the emotional and mental side is also a big roller coaster.

Aftercare for one person would look completely different to another person’s need for aftercare. And although you might be reading a lot on aftercare in regards to submissives/bottoms, it is also for Dominants/Tops.

So to get to a few examples for you to get an idea on aftercare. Now as I said the individual’s need for aftercare will be as unique as them. So the best way to get an idea is to negotiate this ahead of time if you are playing with someone new or for the first few times. After this, it tends to be part of the continues communication flow between parties.

THERE IS NOT JUST ONE CORRECT WAY OF DOING THIS! So talk and communicate but also be ready to play it by ear afterwards.
Another thing to keep in mind that at different times the same submissive will need aftercare in a different form depending on the need of the submissive or top.

So let's divide it up into two categories to make it easier to understand:

1. Physical Needs:

Rehydrate: Have a bottle or glass of water ready nearby for afterwards. The reason is during play you will sweat and need to replace this. As a submissive might not have the coordination afterwards to drink from a glass or bottle you might want to consider having a straw to drink from.

Blankets at times to keep warm: A few submissives might want to warm embrace to cuddle into but it also has a physical need. Body temperature can drop quite quickly after play.

Something small to eat like a piece of chocolate or a cookie: (make sure on medical conditions that might prevent this). It sometimes helps to increase the blood sugar levels a little bit and also releases oxytocin. The “feel good” drug.

Now if there is any cuts, lacerations, bruises or wounds that need to be taken care off. Have a look, *disinfect and dressing* any wounds. Perhaps using a cream to reduce bruises.

If a submissive is leaving the club/venue or have to *travel* to their place of residence. Make sure they are capable of driving or call a taxi. This can be arranged ahead of time so that a third party is able to take them home. Or to wait until they are in a position to drive themselves.

There are several more examples but you get the basic idea. Physical needs are taken care off. Like helping your submissive get to a bathroom to relieve themselves and helping them to a point where they can stand on their own two feet and able to make decisions again.

2.Emotional Needs:

Lots of cuddles: Try not to leave a submissive alone by themselves as for some abandonment issues can set in. Or a feeling like they were not good enough. At times it is not possible for Tops/Dominants to be the one taking care of aftercare but if you can stay and cuddle or give encouraging words until a third person (negotiated beforehand) can take over and take care of the submissives aftercare.

Positive verbal communication: Lots of praise, gentle talking and encouragement so it is not such a big shock from going from a place of serene peace at times to a harsh wake up back in reality. Perhaps the play was a lot more degrading and humiliation and a submissive (as well as Dominants) need the time to transition back to a place of reality.

Skin to skin. For some submissives and Dominants, they need that reassurance that everything is okay and still good and they need no barriers between them.

Shower: Taking a shower or bath can be relaxing for both parties. It takes care of a physical need to getting clean but also emotional need to keep the connection and making sure both of you are okay.
There are a lot more ways some submissives needs can be taken care of emotionally so these are just a few examples to get you going and thinking about it. The needs can differ in regards to the different relationships between parties as well so please talk beforehand about what you might think you will need if you are not completely sure.

Now, most of the above might be seen that it is mostly a Dominant taking care of the submissives need but quite often afterwards a lot of Dominants have an intense need to make sure the submissive and bottom is, in fact, okay and doing good.

Other examples specific to Dominants/Tops:

After taking care of a submissive they need their alone time to be able to process things.

Taking care of equipment and cleaning everything off and packing their toys away is a ritual for some.

Needing to talk it out after their play partners are able to. What was good. What wasn't? How did you find it?

Submissives and bottoms please consider when you are able to... To give thanks the Dominant/Top for their time. You really don't know how much that means to them. You might have given them a gift of submission but they gave you a gift as well.

Dominants don't neglect you're own physical or emotional needs. For a lot of submissives aftercare involving being allowed to take care of their Dominant and that is how they best process a scene or playtime.

Aftercare at times can be used for all parties to return to their “positions” and equilibrium before a scene or play started.

When does aftercare stop or how long should it be?
This is a very difficult question to answer as the answer is as unique as the situation, circumstances and people involved. Talk, talk and more talk.

It is nice to check in now and then with someone you just started playing with. A quick text message or just knowing that you are available to talk. (no matter if you are a sub or a Dom/me)

On the scale of more 24/7, it is just a continues part of the relationship.

Please remember that there is no right or wrong way. Some individuals might not want any of the above and just want to be taken to a safe place and left alone to be able to process and detune.

Remember to stay safe and have some fun.