Whats in your toy bag?

What should you have in your toy bag to keep you and others safe?

Some good items to have in your toy bag to keep you safe.

  • First aid kit with plenty of gloves and bandages.
  • Rubbish bags for contaminated toys, clothing, other play items.
  • Anti-bacterial/Anti-viral whips for cleaning down toys and equipment.
  • Sharps container for needle play or other small sharp items for disposal after use.
  • Its good to have anti-inflammatory/Painkillers medications on hand for yourself.
  • Have a sealed envelope with your medical information written down inside and have it somewhere that your play partner can grab easily if something during a scene goes wrong and the emergency services can be given if they are called. In the sealed envelope include your Name, Date of birth, Next of kin's contact information, any allergies, and any medications you are on and why.
  • Give your safety call (if you haven't seen the post about safety calls please find it here https://www.kink101.info/2018/03/safety-and-meeting-new-people/ ) a sealed envelope with the same information and where you are who you are with and any contact numbers you have for the play partner you are with.
  • If you are doing bondage of any kind then have at least 2 working pairs of safety/EMT shears.
  • If you are doing fire play of any kind including using candles for wax play drop cloths either disposable or linen. Make sure anything flammable is out of the way that the candles are on a hard surface, have a bowl of water and a cloth nearby in case of fire, fire blankets are great to have as well as a small fire extinguisher.

What are some other items that are handy to have in your bag?

  •  Chewing gum for bad breath.
  • Deodorant for body odour.
  • Torch in case of power outage.
  • Bottle or 2 of water.
  • Snacks to have after playing.

As always have fun, keep learning, stay safe. S.S.C, P.R.I.C.K, R.A.C.K.

TPE

TPE - Dynamic

TPE stands for Total Power Exchange. But what does it exactly mean?

It means exactly that. One person is giving up the power completely to another person. All choices and any decision that needs be made are under the control of the Dominant. (regardless of what the Dominant calls themselves but normally it will be either as Owner/Master or Mistress and the bottom referred to as property or as a slave) But in everything that can be open.

So what exactly does complete power exchange mean? Now the ultimate purist view is as follows:

Ultimate power to the Dominant.
No safewords
No limits
it's 24/7
No contracts
No exit date

Now, let's look at it a bit deeper and afterwards I will give my own personal view on how you can perhaps get close to a TPE dynamic but I don't personally believe that you can achieve the Purist view of TPE.

Ultimate power to the Dominant:

The Dominant has the power to make any and all decisions. From what you wear, what you drink, when or how you sleep. From career choices, too when you see family or friends or perhaps have no contact for ages with someone.

So as can see it can be someone that can micromanage your life completely and only choice for the slave is to either obey immediately or get punished and still have to obey.

* Personally there are a few times that this might not always be a practical choice. What if your Master said not to leave the house at all and it starts burning around you. You will leave the house as your survival instinct hopefully kicks in. So some decision making on your side at certain times will kick in. It is therefore not complete. Even if you look at history when slavery was legal and Slave Masters owned these people as property they did not have full power over your thoughts or even all your actions.

No Safewords:

This means no safewords. Or if say its a new area and your Master gives you a temporary “safeword” they might choose to push past that. Now I know everyone goes CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT and ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE. But you need to look at it this way. You have consensually (and I really really hope with real open eyes and being well informed consented to this before you got into this dynamic)

* Ideally the Master will become your safeword. They normally make a promise as well to look after the well-being and emotional welfare of their property/slave which will mean they won't want to cause harm to the extent where you won't recover. So, in fact, they do become your safeword.

Others tend to give a safeword but if you use it then the dynamic immediately ends and might even signal the end of the relationship in any form.

No Limits:

The normal BDSM activity list you might complete for other dynamics will be null and void in this dynamic. The only limits you have is what your Owner decides that you are allowed to have but can be taken away at any time.

* There is time before coming into a dynamic to really put into a contract the absolute limits that you both agree upon. However, it begs to differ to a lot of Purists if this is in fact then TPE as they only have partial power over you.

It's 24/7.

There is no such thing as having a holiday, or I don’t feel like it right now or the ... I have a headache at the moment. Whenever wherever and order is given you will have to obey it. If that order is that you need to quit your job then it's not a question of having an argument but obeying it.

* People get sick, Family gets sick, Kids get sick. Even the powerful Master/Owner gets sick. What happens when an order is given but you know in your heart as a slave the best is to take care of your Owner and not do all the other tasks that were set even if it means you miss some of them.

Sometimes real life intervenes and you need to give each other a little bit of slack. And as parents you have to put your kid's welfare first, so what happens if an order has to be put above a child's need? So therefore not always possible for 24/7 and immediate obeying of orders.

No contracts:

As it is a Total power Exchange a lot of Purists view a contract null and void unless the very short thing from this date till the Owner releases you, you are their property. They still have the option to sell or give you away to another person and then you will be under their authority.

* Even if you do sign a contract it wont be of any use in the real court of law. People cant be owned by another person as property and it is an illegal act. Which means even if you decide to have a contract or not in any dynamic is not really from a point of law but more to have a clear form of what was negotiated between parties.

No Exit date:

As you are property there is no decision for you to decide this is not for me anymore. But seeing that you are property the Owner has the right to release you. That, as well as death, is your only way out.

* As mentioned it is illegal to own anyone. As a slave, that person might “escape” leave and go to the authorities even and the law will be completely on this person's side. So, in reality, there is an exit date but it will also mean the end of the relationship and dynamic.

So now after a bit more of a realistic look, you might think now why would someone even agree to something like this?

First off I think if you step immediately into a TPE dynamic and especially if this is your first BDSM relationship you entering you might be making a mistake. My opinion is that there is no way that you will have enough information or knowledge to make an informed decision to agree to this sort of dynamic, regardless of which side you are coming from.

I feel like the purist view of TPE is not always possible or perhaps not even healthy but it also depends on the particular people that are involved in it.

Bringing me back to the fact that if you are deciding this is the type of dynamic for you to first work towards it. For everyone to work out how you both think and feel and react to each other. Just as the submissive in this regard are taking a huge step of faith the Dominant in this regard are taking a tremendous amount of responsibility for and if things go wrong will land the Dominant in jail.

Does this mean TPE is not a possibility? No. It definitely is but this doesn’t mean you have to take everything mentioned on a purist level and if you don't check all the boxes it doesn't mean you don't fit under TPE. BDSM is about making it work for those involved. So look at what works for everyone and then work it into the only dynamic that matters... YOUR OWN UNIQUE DYNAMIC, regardless of how you label or explain it to others.

Tonight’s livecast topic is pushing limits ethically

Livecast done and dusted for this month. Podcast will be uploaded once I have finished the editing.

The livecast will start at about 10pm tonight however feel free to log into the livechat room to be ready for the show to start. We will post the streaming URL in this chat when the stream starts. https://chat.kink101.info/channel/episode-4-livecast

Just a small quick reminder that tonights podcast is on the topic of how to ethically push limits.  If you have any questions etc and can’t make the live stream tonight please feel free to ask them on the forum https://www.kink101.info/forums/topic/livecast-4th-may-questions-ethically-pushing-limits/

Otherwise you can also use our anonymous Q&A page to submit them. https://www.kink101.info/qa

 

KC003 Pedro rope workshop

For this podcast we are joined again by Princess P4in. We discussed our recent workshop which cheeky and myself attended and what we learned from Pedro.

Pedro is currently on a world tour so if he is visiting your country I highly recommend trying to get into one of his workshops.

The live chat which accompanied this livecast is over here https://chat.kink101.info/channel/episode-3-livecast

If you have any questions or suggestions for a topic for a future livecast please feel free to submit them over here https://www.kink101.info/qa or on our new forums over here https://www.kink101.info/forums/

Forniphillia / Human furniture

What is Forniphilia / Human furniture?

Human furniture or Forniphilia is a form of bondage and or sexual objectification in which a persons body is incorporated into items on furniture. Items like trays, foot stools, chairs, tables, lamps or other items of furniture. The term forniphilia was coined by Jeff Gord.

The person used for human furniture may be nude  or semi-nude to add to the erotic and aesthetic appeal. Forniphilia can be an extreme form of bondage, The submissve is usually tightly bound and expected to stay immobile for a prolonged period. Often gags  and sex toys are incorporated. Proper safety measures and checking in with the submissive’s well being is vital, because of the dangers that can arise, forniphilia should only be undertaken by a experienced bondage practitioner.

Fotniphilia doesn’t always mean using bondage. Having your submissive on all fours as a foot stool  or as a seat, standing and holding drinks.

 

As always S.S.C, P.R.I.C.K, R.A.C.K.